What Do a Jet Ski, a Platypus and an All Star Trainer Have in Common?

What does a jet ski have in common with a platypus, a cup of coffee, a platter of grilled sardines, a black dog with a white spot on its belly, a bunch of orchids, a give-way sign, a knitted cardigan, a drizzle of extra virgin olive oil, a lighter, a marmot, three kilos of cherries, a rug, a rear-view mirror, a bionic hand, bread and butter, an unusually fat fly, a catalogue of water heaters and a left-foot All Star trainer? I’ve no idea. But if I knew everything, I wouldn’t be typing this with a mosquito wandering across the screen and laughing at me. I’d be the national team manager. As it is, all I can do is hang the flag on the balcony and carry on listening to the neighbours scream “goal” before my television even shows the ball crossing the line.